A memory just popped into my head, and I'm in reminiscing mode now. It's one of the first really warm days of the year, and for the first time we've spent our evening with every window thrown wide open. I'm now studying to LCD soundsystem, and reminded with every whiff of outside air of lazy evenings on the roof last year. Miss all you guys quite a lot.
So I went and saw insidious with some friends tonight. We made the mistake of going to the 7:15 showing so all the highschoolers/junior high kids were awake still. The movie sucked just a lot of cheap loud noises and flashes of light. On a positive note I yelled at a ton of kids and made them feel stupid for talking in the movie "Hey have you guys ever been to a movie? Because generally you don't fucking talk" etc. yea I was drunk from laying in a pool and drinking beer this afternoon. WOOT WOOT. Moral of the story Drunk Nate don't give a damn. mmm I also winked at a pretty girl when she looked at me. WIN. How is this Jordo? Enough blogging for you?
A memory just popped into my head, and I giggled, so I decided to share. Let's get this blog going again.
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I was downtown at my cousin's place, and we had been playing some beer pong with his flat-mates. Sean Cleary (some of you may know from that video where he jumps into the fan and bleeds everywhere, wait no he does, oh wait, yeah he does [can't find the link]) had previously stated that he did not wish to join us that evening, and would be retiring early. As we were preparing to leave, at this point all pretty tipsy, he had a change of heart. Not wishing to join us stone cold sober, he asked us to wait while he got drunkened up. We obliged, and Sean reached on top of the fridge and casually grabbed a beer bong. Brandon them aided him in the filling and drinking of two beers through the beer bong. All of this took place in complete silence.
Confused, I questioned, "Sean, why did you just do a beer bong?"
Confused about my confusion, he clarified, "Because I wanted to drink two beers quickly."
Duh.
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Anyways, this is the first time I saw someone do a beer bong both sober, and with no peer pressure.
These are the kinds of people that the DONs produce.
An old, shifty eyed bum hobbles down the sidewalk, pulling behind him a cart covered by a ratty blanket. Our eyes meet.
He speaks discreetly, "Hey man, you like booze?"
"I certainly do."
He reaches unsteadily towards the cart, in order to reveal the contents. As the blanket is removed, a bottle is pulled loose and clanks on the cement. An arsenal of alcohol containing no less than four cases, and two bottles of champagne is unveiled.
As a grin spreads across his face, he mutters "Make me a bargain I can't refuse."
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This was shortly after some toothless drunk lady complimented my eyebrows, and told me how she used to lick her man's eyebrows.
This is my life in shadesville.
Walking through the park on the way to class yesterday, I stumbled upon an empty bottle of cologne behind some bushes. Nowhere near the road, and quite a distance from the path. Now, it would not be out of the ordinary to find an empty can of beer, a bottle of vodka or to startle some stoners in the vicinity, but cologne? What kind of person sneaks into the woods to put on cologne? What are they hiding? Who are they hiding from? I've met some judgmental, bigoted people, but surely cologne is considered taboo by noone in this country. Futhermore, how the hell would you hide it? When you smell like booze or weed, you mask the scent with cologne. What do you use to mask the scent of cologne?! Booze? Weed?
If I ever catch my kids putting on cologne, I'll make them wear the whole bottle to school. On second though, that would make them blend right in at high school.
-Jordan